Have some fun, when asked for your accomplishments this year, send these to your manager:

1. Successfully engineered soft landing of Phoenix Space Craft on Mars.  Monetized image feed via Nasa website, singlehandedly allowing corporation to double revenue projections.
2. Developed and released vaccine for AIDS, saving millions of lives in the African subcontinent alone.
3. Developed plan for World Peace, which will be implemented in 3^rd quarter this year.
4. Successfully attained copyright for the word “The” allowing the company to profit from virtually every written communication ever made.
5. Invented Velcro, perhaps you’ve heard of it.;

Also, I plan in the next quarter to be the first astronaut to walk on the Sun…